Building Self Esteem

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Building Teen Self Esteem is what this page is all about. Prepare yourself and learn from these informative tools and resources. Because we know these can be trying times for you, so read comments from other teens about self-esteem or even publish your own stuff online right now.

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Because the good life, as I conceive it, is a happy life. I do not mean that if you are good you will be happy; I mean that if you are happy you will be good ~ Bertrand Russell.

So, how many of the following descriptions can you identify with?

I'm not as good as others.
I'm jealous of others getting opportunities.
I'm in constant fear of making mistakes.
I worry what others may think of me.
I expect myself to be perfect.
I want to be liked by my friends.
I feel like others treat me like a doormat.


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Comments from teens about building self-esteem.
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Name: Victoria
Age: 15
City: New York
State/Prov: New York
Country: USA

When I was younger I was always small for my age.

I grew up in a broken home and my parents eventually divorced, so I started eating a lot and became very stressed and I guess I got here.

I’m 5 foot and I weigh about 130 lbs (to me that’s fat). I’m really short so it’s hard to find clothes that fit right. I want to lose weight before I go back to school because my dream is to be skinny in high school. I cut back in food a lot and started eating cereal for breakfast.

And eat a healthy lunch and dinner. Every night I exercise.


Name: Laura
Age: 15
City: Pennsauken
State/Prov: New Jersey
Country: USA

I wasn’t even to the door and I could hear my Mom and Dad fighting. I heaved a sigh and shifted my book bag and opened the door and called ‘Mom’. ‘Dad’, but I guest they didn’t hear me because they were still going at it.

My Mom and have been fighting as long as I can remember so I was not surprised. I called “Mom”, again as I opened the screen door and closed the solid wood door behind me. Just as I was about to go up the stairs, my mothers front room office opened and there stood my Mom in a blue jean and a tee-shirt with her eyes red like as a rose.

I dropped my book bag and ran over to her and hug her saying its okay and everything was fine. By dinner time my mother was acting like everything was fine, my Dad was smiling and asking how was school and I said fine. After that night, as I lay in my bed for a long time staring at the window, I knew that my Mom and Dad always had a marriage problem and they said they didn’t need to see someone to help them.

Emily Wolf, one of my best friend from third grade was talking about the school dance in two weeks, but I was staring in space until she called my name, “Laura, are u okay?” I said, “yes”. All I could think of was that I was the blame of my parents’ fights. When I got home my was in the kitchen singing so I knew that everything was fine. She was dancing, swinging her waist and hopping around on the stone kitchen floor.

She was probably getting ready to start Dad’s dinner and I just smiled and stomped to my room. I was exited seeing my Mom sing again. As I started doing my homework when she turned the radio volume very high, so I shouted to her, “CAN YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE MUSIC?”

There was a moment of silence and then my Mom came in and said, “alright honey!” “Thank you”, I said in my best voice and finished my homework. I went downstairs and I could hear the sound of dishes being clinked together. I made my way to where Mom was working in the kitchen, she looked up when I came into the room, “hey baby, want some grilled cheese”? I said “sure”.

She looked better than the day before. With an old pair of jeans and tee-shirt. My mother was a high-fashion New York designer before she decided to give up her career to marry a Utah man and started having kids.

When the school bus dropped me off on my street I saw my father’s car in the driveway and I knew that something was wrong. I said to myself “oh my gosh” and ran inside. Mom and Dad were in the kitchen and both of them looked like they have been crying. Mom started talking; I just squeezed my eyes shut, and somehow knowing what she was going to say. “never mind‘, I said inside my mind.

“Laura” my Dad voice called, “your mother and I have something to say to you and if we can have your attention for a moment. He started by saying that they loved me very much and they always will but they decided to split up because it was not working out for them.

I was so horrified by their announcement that all I could do was look at the floor and cry. I shouted, “WHAT?”, but you love each other.”Sure we do”, they said together. (I wasn’t expecting their news on a Friday.) I guess there wasn’t much that I could do about my Mom and Dad’s spit.

Pretty soon, everyone at school and the neighborhood would know about it. It took me a week and a half before I could look at my Mom and Dad without thinking about how our family was over. It didn’t seem to bother anyone in the neighborhood except me. The plan they came up with was that I would spent every other weekend with Dad and the other week with Mom and when school is out I would spent the summer with Dad for a month and the rest with Mom.

One afternoon Mom called me down from my room and started asking me to do things with her. “Let’s go to lunch and so on, it was sickening. As I was standing there my Dad called on the phone. “What are you doing you doing home from work’’? I asked Dad why he was calling me, usual he isn’t home until six or something. Unless there’s a problem of course.

Anyway he worked for a company called Computer Fork and it always took him a little while to get home. One reason my Dad said on the phone, “I was wondering if you can have dinner with me today.” My face turned to a shock. “Yes, I love to,” I said. You may not believe it but my Dad is very attractive. He may be a computer geek, but he looks good. His hair is thick and wavy and an almost black color. His eyes are deep blue. He has one freckle.

My friends always telling me how he look like Brad Pitt, or how good looking he is. But then he does something like open his mouth and I am, most of the time, horrified. I was happy to see Dad, knowing that it was his week, and I was going to have fun.

As Dad was driving he asked who I want to live with. My heart softened a half -inch. But I didn’t let it show. Instead I paused. My Dad noticed my face and dropped the question. We got to his apartment and went inside to order take-out, while I watch TV and then Dad showed up. ’It party time” he said ,coming into the room in the ugliest clothes I have ever seen in my life.

A pair of blue jeans with silver tacking going down the side and a shinny purple shirt, both a little too small. I knew they were things had been saving since he dated Mom, I could tell by looking at them. There were 80’s clothes and I bet they scared everybody that seen it. I know they scared me. I shook my head. “No , Dad I said. But Dad didn’t wait a second longer. Instead he threw back his head and hollered out, ‘No parking on the dance floor, baby.

I felt the blood in my face drain down to my toes. Did I have a sudden fever? Some horrible disease that caused me to feel like this? First wave of fire, then ice, washed over me. For Moment I thought I might faint. Without meaning to I said (please, God , I please don’t let this happening). But it was. I have no time to answer “Dance lessons” Dad called out, he grabbed my hand and starting dancing with me.

He twirled around on his heels, tipped a fake hat and swing his hips “Moonwalk” Dad, called out, all of a sudden he seen frozen and I bent down on my knee and called, Daddy. Are you okay? “No”, Dad said. My face lost all color, then turned red in less than a second. I couldn’t breathe my face, it seemed, had stopped moving .

Can you move your leg” I took hold of one of his feet. Don’t do it,” Dad said , his voice all squishy sounding . I heard something snap in my neck. If you move my legs, I may be paralyzed for life” I was sure at that Moment that there was no god. Unless, of course, He like joke.

The most shocking thing about the whole evening was that Dad stayed in that position until the paramedics arrived. Up in my room with the ambulance gone, I realized that there was going to be only one person I could depend on was me.

The horrors of last night lying in bed, I broke out in a sweat. I squeezed my eyes shut again, slapping my hand to my forehead. Nothing would take away the sick, sinking feeling in my heart stomach. I went downstair and I saw my Mom lying in the chair and I made my way to the kitchen she woke up and said good morning to me “Laura’’, Moms voice pulled me out of last night.

Yeah”, I said. I know you worry about your Dad but he fine. I took deep breath. Just as I was about to answer, Dad opened the door with w cast on his arm. I just smiled and hugged him. The next morning we slept late. I was awakened by Mom and Dad talking about me .

I crawled out of bed and made my way up the stairs like a kitten. Mom stood in the kitchen. I could hear her, plain as day, even though I couldn’t see her. She was saying Are you sure you don’t want to talk to her again. My Dad said yes. I had to see what was going on. Eavesdropping was no longer enough .

I moved up a step closer, careful not to make any noise. If only I could watch the two of them. There was a quiet Moment. I stretched out a bit, trying to make my neck giraffe -like. If only I could get a glimpse of them. I fell , my forehead hitting hard on the edge of top step. I fell right into Mom and Dad’s view. I slumped onto the steps as if I were unconscious.

I open my eyes and looked in my mother’s eyes “Where am I, I asked. They just asked if I was alright and I said yes. It was two weeks late that Mom talked to me . She said that everyone was okay and that I don’t have to choose who to live with . They both loved me . Three days after returning to Mom’s house things started to get better.

I know that both of my parents are great and they love me very much. So I don’t have to choose between them, which made me feel special and relieved.


Name: Eliza
Age: 14
City: NYC
State/Prov: New York
Country: USA

I’m 14, 5 1 and 115 lbs. I feel like I'm fat because I am also very short for my age.

I am pretty athletic (I play soccer and tennis) all of my friends are very small and fit into XS shirts at the mall, but I am an M, they get my old clothes. It's embarrassing.

All of the pretty popular girls at my school are very skinny and prefect. Summer is coming and I will be in high school next year.

My goal is to loss weight over the summer, but I just don't know if I will be motivated enough. I would ask some of my friends to work with me, but they don’t need it, and I am too embarrassed to say anything.

I have very low self-esteem. I always feel like people are looking at me and laughing at me. I have many friends and get good grades, but I still wish I was skinny.


Name: Liv
Age: 16
City: Chicago
State/Prov: IL
Country: USA

Hey everyone!

I was reading all of these stories and ever single one reminds me of myself in some way. I HATE myself.

Everyday I wake up and feel ugly. My mother tells me I'm ridiculous and that I am just too "self-absorbed" but I truly feel disgusting.

I hate this obsession of mine and I wish I didn't care so much, but I do. I am a tall girl 5' 7" and I weigh around 128 pounds. I just feel like the biggest person in every room I enter.

I wish I could find some answers to why I feel this way!


Name: Jacinda
Age: 13
City: Tampa
State/Prov: FL
Country: USA

Hi, I'm 13 and 5'5 and balancing on 180pds, possibly 190. Over the past summer, I lost 20 pounds & weighed 160, but when I came back home, the pounds started packing on again. Like most kids who're "overweight" I've been teased. In 4th grade I was about 140-150pds.

Kids would sit at tables & huddle, always talking about me. Just barely enough for me to overhear. I felt horrible. Only so many people would talk to me, so I kept to myself. Even the friends I did make would tease me, from time to time, so would my mom, eventually my little brother too.

I've always tried my best to focus on weight loss, yet I never seem to get there. In fact, the more I thought of it, the more weight I gained. But when I entered 6th grade and eventually 7th I became happier with myself.

I realized middle school was a different terrain than elementary. The picking was severely harsh, especially if I saw people from school at the beach, or had to wear my P.E. uniform. I hated my legs. I still do. I even failed P.E. because I wouldn't dress out-the reason? I was fat.

And everyone else who was fat didn't have big calves, they just had round tummies.

Even my best friend would complain about her legs, which were slim & slender. I always tell everyone that I'm not self conscious, but I am. Now summer's rounding the corner again, & I've made goals for myself.

I want to look good at the beach, in my P.E. shorts next year. I don't want to wear a size 14. I’d like a 12!


Name: Chad
Age: 16
City: Lubbock
State/Prov: TX
Country: USA

Well, I was having a terrible night, and I guess faith brought me to this website. I have self esteem problems too, and the more I try to fix it the worse it gets.

My main problem comes from girls, I do everything any other guy would do, but when I tell them I like them they don’t respond well to it.

I have always wondered why I can't be like my friends, why can't I have what I want, what did I do to deserve this because I am a really nice guy. I don't know if posting this will help, but I thought it couldn't hurt unless someone from my school sees this then that’s going to be even horrible for my self esteem.


Name: Marllie Jay
Age: 15
City: Mississauga
State/Prov: Ontario
Country: Canada

Hello everyone :) I was reading some of these stories and I would like to share mine.

Well when I was only in grade seven I had this problem with my body. I believe I was EXTREMELY fat and I even got to the point where I wanted to kill myself. Until I had this talk with my sister. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be alive today. Even though it was kind of her fault.

She was the perfect little Barbie doll I owned and I wasn't. I hated that. I felt like the ugly sister. But that all changed. I worked with my sister, and I lost a ton of weight.

When I reached grade 8-9 it turned into a thought of that I’m ugly. But I completely ignored that one because all the girls at my school thought the same way.

It hit summer of '06 and I started going out with this guy and we were just sitting in my room and he was like wow, you are so beautiful and I was like. You’re jokes. And then he said. I’m serious.

It got to a point were I started to cry because I really didn't think that way. And because of him I think differently.

So I guess this is just a reminder to everyone. It fine to talk about it with friends and family. I’m not saying that because I had a boyfriend, it made everything better. No. I consider him my friend first.

All my friends said the same thing. So just because I had a boyfriend means nothing. But trust me. When your self-esteem goes up, people seem to notice. And it all pays off in the end.


Name: Sammie
Age: 12
City: Leesburg
State/Prov: Florida
Country: United States

All I remember is that kids were always picking on me, no matter how old I was.

The worst was in 5th grade. There was this group of boys who was always picking on me because I was fat.

They had no idea how it felt, I never wanted to tell anyone. At that point I was desperate for friends, but no one wanted to be seen with the fat girl and no one ever was.

I hated going into places and all the pretty girls would talk about me but be just loud enough that I could hear them. I had terrible self-esteem, thought I was worthless. I use to cry my-self asleep.

I numerously thought of suicide, after all -- no one seemed to care, I thought how much better everyone would be. I just wished they could feel the pain I felt every day, their slashing painful words filled me up with hate for not only them but myself. After a life changing talk I changed.

Now, two years later I no longer feel that way!! I have friends and ignore their comments can't hurt me and I am happy all because someone bothered to listen and understand, they probably have no idea what they did.


Name: Butter Fly Girl
Age: 12 and 1/2
City: Fayetteville
State/Prov: NC
Country: United States

Hello. How are you going? You know what? When I was in fifth grade there was these group of boys that always picked on me.

I remember crying... and that gave them power. Not only boys picked on me, one of my friends did to. They did not like me at all!

I did not do nothing or say anything to them. They were just ugly to me. They always called me fat. By them calling me that my self-esteem got low. But I made it by praying to God.

He saved my life. If it wasn't for him, I would still feel bad about myself. I look back on it and I say that it was just stupid. Why would I cry over people that just don't like me and they want to see me down. People like that are evil.

Now, I'm in 6th grade and nobody picks on me. Today there were theses two boy's that called me fat but I did not care, I did not cry. I just laughed because I would not let what they said get to me.

They also said that I was the biggest girl they ever saw. I also laughed at that because I know there are bigger girls then me at my school.

I just want to let you know that you are not the only one that has been through this. I just want you to know today that I care about you. You are going to make it. One day you are going to look back on this and say that it was stupid of me wasting my time thinking about this. You are going to laugh.

That is what I'm doing now. It does not matter how big or small you are you are still a beautiful person when I look at you. It does not matter what anybody said about you.

You have to think that you are beautiful or handsome when get up in the morning. You have to tell them that they are a liar and they are not going to make your day bad.

If you have any problems you can write back online here. I will respond...

God bless you.


Name: Jason
Age: 18
City: Alexandria
State/Prov: Virginia
Country: United States

I was overweight all throughout highs school; I've only just got into good shape over the past 2 years through a lot of effort.

Let me tell you, the weight or even the way you look really means nothing. It’s how you carry yourself and how social you are; I had a good group of friends when I was overweight.

But I get what you all are saying despite the fact I had plenty of friends the insults made me insecure with the opposite sex to this day despite the fact that I finally feel I am attractive.

My advice for is play some sports, just because you are out of shape doesn’t mean you cant make a high school team and it will definitely help with your social skills, and probably at least a bit with your weight problem.


Name: Maddie
Age: 14
Country: United Kingdom

Hello Girls,

I came across this website while looking for the latest teen fashion.

Listen to me, no one likes their own look, they always want to look like other girls. I’m pale because I have very fair skin and I am mildly allergic to the sun. I’m not fat in any way but sometimes I wish I was. I weigh 7.5 stones average for my age and I am the average height for my age as well.

The thing I hate is my legs are a funny shape and my ankles are stick thin compared to the rest of my body, also my skin color.

I have spots, they are really bad. But all teenagers get them and I don't care about that. If I had fatter legs and tanned skin I would be somewhat happy with myself. I woke up this morning and thought to myself if I had the right clothes and style no one would care!

So girl’s fat? Thin? Skinny stick? Spotty freak? Pale? Ginger? Don’t care we can't all be the same that’s what makes us "you and not we".

Good luck girls!


Name: Ashley
Age: 16
City: Baltimore
State: Maryland
Country: United States

After reading some of the articles that were posted I feel as though I truly can relate to these people. I have been overweight ever since I can remember and for a while I found it hard to deal with the insults and rude comments that came from my peers.

When I was in middle school it was especially hard because being overweight made me extremely shy and I hardly ever talked to anyone. This resulted in me not having any good friends and I was extremely lonely. Because of what I went through with the other students, my school work suffered tremendously. It’s a miracle that I passed and made it out of there.

I KNOW I am a VERY smart individual. Focusing on the way I look distracted me from everything that was important. It took a while to realize that I was beautiful the way I was and I didn’t need anyone to tell me that.

Because I was still struggling with my self-esteem this last school year high school, I failed my best scoring subject twice, I received an incomplete in my favorite subject to learn in, and I barely passed the rest of my classes. My attitude about myself has changed and I'm very proud of the way that I look.

I want to let everyone know that the average American today is not some skinny stick figure in size 0 jeans. A lot of the people that you will see are thick and it’s ok.

We should be proud of the way we are and just let others except us in their own time. Until then, just live and be happy. I know it’s hard, BELIEVE me, I know, but it’s the best thing to do.

I've been trying to exercise and loose weight since I was 11 and after reading the other articles; I've decided that until I can find a GOOD reason to loose weight I won’t.

It makes no sense to keep going until we look like everyone else. When I decide to continue my diet and loose weight it will be because I want to and not because I want the opinion of other people that don’t really matter in the end.


Name: Jasmine
Age: 13
City: Montgomery
State: AL
Country: United States

I am 13 and have a weight problem. I went to the doctor yesterday for a regular check-up and he asked if I had any health problems that I needed help with and I told him I needed help on my weight loss.

So he told me that at my age you just can't loose weight by yourself -- you have to get special help from someone professional and I always thought of myself as FAT but my Doc said that I am just big boned.

Therefore I am not going to be stick skinny but I need to loose weight. The doctor thought I was a very beautiful and smart girl -- I had never felt so confident in my life!

It felt good coming from someone other than my family and friends, because my friends are all small and yes I do feel different around them because they can go in AE or Hollister or Abercrombie and fit there clothes.

But I can't and I am really excited about losing weight and I wear glasses and I soon I will have to get braces and I am also entering high school and I am so scared but I am going in with a positive attitude about my losing weight and about my self-esteem and about my grades in high school.


Name: Destiny
Age: 16
City: Dayton
State: Ohio
Country: United States

You want to know the real reason why I even came upon this page, because I am looking for ways to keep my body healthy, I am very active, so I have to keep my body in shape, by means of exercise and meditation. This is a great site!

What I really can't believe are the stupid comments girls are leaving. You want to know what makes us humans so perfect, the fact that we can never settle.

If you girls are really that serious about wanting a boyfriend, trust me it's not even worth it. Because in the end, you are the one stressing over this guy, and in the end he wins and you lose. You don't have to listen to me, after all it's your life, but realize that life is too short to be worrying about fitting into a size 1.

Your only responsibility is to find happiness.

Good luck.


Name: Eugene
Age: 16
City: Indianapolis
State: Indiana
Country: United States

Hello, I am Eugene. Ever since moving to America from Russia my self-esteem has fallen. I thought it was because of my language barrier and being overweight. I was right.

Three months after moving here I went to a camp hoping to learn some English and perhaps make friends. I was very friendly with everyone, tried talking to others until someone called me fat and laughed. The person's friends laughed. I had no idea what the word meant and I asked someone.

After learning that word I felt like an electric shock went through me. I was really upset as anyone would be. During the 3 months in camp I have not made a single friend. Now in High School I feel my life is a waste. I feel ashamed, no one looks or talks to me, I feel undeserving to go to lunch. For my Freshman year I have never ate a single meal. I've spent 30 minutes in the library, every day.

Maybe this will ever end but never give up the hope. No matter what you exercise the first pain someone makes you feel will always be there.


Name: T
Age: 19
City: Berrien Springs
State: MI
Country: United States

This is the first time I came across this website and I think it’s a beautiful thing for teens to come and share their feeling like this.

But I was really shocked and sad by most of these comments here. I never knew so many kids at and a young age r having some issues with their bodies and their self-esteem.

Look, I know this has been said many things… but ladies pls listen to me: God made all of us unique and beautiful, you might not think you are but to other people you r the worst beautiful person in the world.

Weight is a big issue in today's society, people think to be beautiful you have to weigh about 100 pounds and wear size 0. This isn't true, like most of the girls on this website I’m obese according to my BMI Chart.

I'm 19 yrs old and I weight 225 pounds. I agree that I need to lose some pounds and I have been going to the gym this last month but me going b/c of my health and for myself. I’m not going b/c I want to impress society or the guys at my school.

I’ve been overweight basically all my life, and I use to be unhappy too. But hey, I woke up one morning and thought screw everyone, and I started being happy with myself. And this attitude has helped me change a lot.

Now, the stories I read about the girls who cut themselves or think about committing suicide. Pls. stop, it’s not worth it and it’s not going to change anything. Try talking to a counselor or someone who know you can trust.

The girl who had the issue with the guy, don't worry about it, u get over him with time. Trust me, I been though the same situation. Someone could be out there right now who has the eye for you.

To everyone else, know that you’re beautiful, live your life to the fullest and remember to be happy.

I know I don't know you but I do love you honestly. This was typed in a rush so if anyone wants to talk to me email here, I love to chat... so email me anytime.


Name: Angel
Age: 15
City: Spokane
State: Washington
Country: United States

To me, every girl is beautiful. No matter if they are big, or stick skinny. I think that if a guy cant except you for you then don’t change yourself.

I am fifteen and I have learned to love myself through the past few years. It's very hard I’ll admit.

There really is not a day that does not go by that I wonder why God made me like this. He did it for a purpose I guess.

I look like this and am like this because He made me like this. I want every girl to feel good about themselves. Yes, it takes hard work and practice but I did it and I believe that every girl can. You just got to believe. If you really want something go get it.

But, if it is dealing with you weight or appearance than please don’t be a person that gets all this plastic surgery or goes on a starvation diet because you want to lose some weight.

That's not the way to go. I learned to love myself and not change for anybody. I suggest that all you girls do the same. In the long run you'll be satisfied.


Name: Emily
Age: 14
City: Burlington
State: WI
Country: United States

I am 14 and weigh 250 lbs. Not the best first impression, eh?

I have struggled with dieting and loosing weight ever since I first can remember trying. It's hard to fit into the perfect mold of girls these days. Truly, the average girl is about 5'5'' and about 120 lbs.

However, being about 6" taller and about 130 pounds heavier, it's hard. I want to know what the heck I can do to change my weight. I am trying, really. But nothing seems to work.

It's hard, just remember, it someone doesn't like you for who you are, skrew them, and move on. And in the words of Queen "Fat Bottom Girls You Make the Rockin' World Go Round"

Love,

Emily


Name: Reecee
Age: 19
City: New York
State: New York
Country: United States

Hello my name is Ruth. It is nice to find a place to lay down all my burdens without judgment.

Okay here is it, when I was in middle school and little in elementary school the kids used to tease me about being ugly, hideous some would say and make me feel like I was dirty, "didn't believe in soap."

I would always be talking or answering questions so the kids would be jealous plus I was real poor and didn't rock anything but barettes. When I was in high school things changed I was real smart and got good classes.

Anyway people said I changed a lot in high school even though I felt the same inside. I got a full scholarship to NYU but the thing about it is I am in NYC.

Every day I walk down the street people are calling me beautiful, gorgeous, daring god bless me, a complete turn around from middle school and I don't know how to accept it to me I will always be that hurt girl.


Name: Brittany
Age: 15
City: Toronto
State: Ontario
Country: Canada

After reading each of these articles, I seem to have the same feelings as others. And I’m not going to use long words or descriptive sentences to try to tell how I feel in a nice way.

I feel depressed, ugly and pathetic. Those may seem harsh, but one can't deny how they feel. Now I don't always feel like this -- I can assure you that, and that's the worst part. I can go from happy and feeling like my life is worth living.

Like all my hard work is paying off, and that I am getting somewhere. I am somewhat content. And with this, my physically self-esteem is lifted.

But then something so slight and small can happen and I feel those same things again. Depressed and pathetic asking if all my hard work and frustration is even worth it? I know we should never give up, and I never will, but how do we keep ourselves going? When I feel like a failure and want to go to bed and never wake up, how do I encourage myself?

What can I do for myself to prevent myself from falling every time something happens in my life? Good and bad happens in life, but how can we keep our minds clear during all of it?

Please, I would very much like to know your advice or opinion.


Name: Courtney
Age: 13
City: Harrisburg
State: AR
Country: United States

I am 5"2" and 130 lbs… yes, I know I’m big. But I’m also very shy and I feel like I should be skinnier. I have a very small family, except for me, and my twin sister. I would not say we were fat, just not small. I really feel inferior to all the small, pretty girls who can fit into x-smalls.


Name: Emily
Age: 13
City: Cali
State: MI
Country: United States

Hi, my name is Emily... I live in a nice town with tons of ppl.. skinny ppl.. rich ppl... they have everything… recently I moved here. My sister is skinny, my friends are skinny... I feel left out...since I was a little girl I have been over weight, I have noticed that I have always been active and willing to stick to a diet and exercise. the problem is it's hard.. I weight 170 and I’m considered Really FAT... I hate that word... I hate being FAT....

This year this guy moved to my school district.

Instantly I fell in love, I never knew he was so cute... but everything about him I loved... too bad things went for the worst... the guy liked this girl... I hated this girl. She was new also... and she had every guy I liked falling over her like she was a magnet. Well, automatically I hated her.

I never wanted to get to know her... well she turned out to be nice. But this guy said he loved her... I broke down into tears every night for weeks... and he never stops talking to her... he doesn’t know I love him. But he knows I like him... and to this day I feel like chap, hate myself. My parents call me FAT and hurt me all the time... I can't live with myself.

I plan this summer to lose weight so I can fit into one of the nice dresses for homecoming!!.. and I need help.

But I’m afraid I will never be pretty. I can't wear contacts and glasses look bad on me, and I have an ugly round head with dark sandy blonde hair. Well I like my hair just not with my head or pale body.


Name: Jessica
Age: 13
City: Elyria
State: OH
Country: United States

I am just doing this to get some things out, I know I should be talking to my mom or friends or something like that, but I can’t.

I want to get it out but I don’t want to get in trouble.

Well I am just going to come out with it.... 4 the last couple of days I have been cutting my arms (rists) I’ve been so sad and mad and all of this mixed emotions and I can’t stop them and one of my best friends seen them on my rists and asked what I did and I didn’t answer her and she keeps say what did u use y did u do it and I just wont answer her she has been saying I am losing allot of weight and when I’m at school I get lunch but I don’t eat it I act like I am eating it or she'll tell someone on me and I don’t want no one to know about this but I kind of figured I’ll be able to breath whenever I get this out

I know I am young but the wish I wish every night is 4 me to die. I don’t care how I die if its in my sleep if I get hit by a car, I don’t care I just don’t want to be here but then the next day I’ll say I am glad I stayed one more day and sometimes I wonder if there is a heaven that people look down on me and u and every one else b/c if so I wish I would die 4 one day and see how ppl react and if they don’t care then I’ll stay dead and if they do care and I can feel that they care then I would come back but I know that will never happen...

OH sh&%t I have to go -- my mom is home and I don’t want her to c that I am writing this. OK, well thanks 4 reading bye.

Jessica (u can find me on AIM PunkchikJK93)


Name: Emily
Age: 13
City: Milwaukee
State: Wisconsin
Country: United States

Hi everyone,

I am 13 5'9" and I weigh 145 pounds. I have very low self esteem mostly because people often call me fat including my mom. They like saying that I'll never change and that someone needs to keep Mc Donald’s in business. I have learned that becoming upset and sitting down with a bowl of ice-cream doesn't help this problem even though it makes you feel happy for a minute or two.

I hope to lose weight to boost my self-esteem and show my mom and friends that I’m can set down the ice cream and get out of the junk food.

Also id like to know the secret to how my friends stay thin but also have Mc Donald’s 1 a week and eat Doritos every day without gaining a pound.


Name: Tasha
Age: 14
City: Enfield
State: London
Country: United Kingdom

Hi, I'm Tasha. I've always had compliments about the way I look but I don't feel comfortable in my body or my face, even though I'm told I'm fine. But you know, when even though they say that, it also matters about how you feel about yourself.


Name: Angelica
Age: 14
City: Henderson
State: Kentucky
Country: United States

Hi I’m angelica and I am 15 years old. High School is really hard I have gone though a lot and I‘m only a teen I pray every night for my life to get better.

The things that I go though are very crazy, for example I had a boyfriend for about 4 years and he was my first true boyfriend, but on Friday the 13th he called it quits with me at that point I felt like I could not go on I think it is very important to listen to your parents because they are always write just like my mom told me not to date at such a young age.

But I did not listen I did it any ways when I think about it I feel bad if I would have listened to her I would not be in this situation.

I also think it is important for me to share my story with the WORLD cause out there is a lot of young ladies in my place and they as well and don’t know what to do. I feel your pain wherever you are and it is not worth it, you can always find another but it is always really hard when the boy was your first love.

I have been in the situation were I set in the shower and put a gun to my head just to set my self free but then before I pulled the trigger the phone rang it was no one on the other line.

Call me crazy but I think God saved me from making a mistake and I think you just have to look up and know that u r a wonderful person and later on in the future that boy will realize that he made the mistake of his life and will miss u a lot. What goes around comes around and no one deserves that kinda treatment. Shame on him for hurting some one and pity on you for wasting your time crying when you can be finding another that is better then the first, u cant think that u can hurt someone and live it easy.

What he did to you will happen to him and he will feel the way you did. Keep your head up… God is always there even when you can’t see him. You will hurt some but he will not let you hurt long. He knows just how much you can handle, trust me, I know. He put me though all this cause he knows I’m strong and I won’t let it break me and when I cried he whipped away my tears and said I am here now. I’m smiling. I thank you Lord.


Name: Jasmine
Age: 18
City: Hampton
State: Virginia
Country: U.S. Minor Outlying Islands

I never thought that there were so many girls that felt the same was as me.

I get depressed a lot too about family problems but, mostly over my weight. I have tried to diet so many times but failed and I think about my weight constantly.

I have two best friends and thy are both skinny, sometimes I wonder why they even hang out with me. I have started another diet and am going to try and stick to it. Ive tried so many times to try and be happy with the way that I am but, I'm not. I have to lose this weight and so can you! All you need is a little discipline.

Have faith in you and your self-esteem will rise.


Name: Savannah
Age: 18
City: Hastings
State: MI
Country: United States

You girls are about the same age I was when I started to worry about my weight but never worried about my self esteem because I was so focused on pleasing everyone else with the way I looked.

I've learned through a bit of growing up that most of the cliches you hear are true; there are so many of them, but please focus on the ones that stress working to please yourself, not others, since the age at which you are requires introspection for the subsequent growth.

I'm heavy myself and have recently converted to a healthier lifestyle, and I've never been happier in my life because I'm focusing on number one and what I can do for myself.

If people look at you and call you names, it hurts, but remember that they have no power over you and by reducing to such childish antics they are only making themselves lower than you.

To close, the media lies: skinny does not equal healthy, and that is what you should aim for instead of some unrealistic twiggy figure. Love yourself!


Name: Lyn
Age: 16
City: D-burg
State: New York
Country: United States

I’m really depressed b/c I’m so BIG I can’t take it any more. I scream and flip out and get rid of some anger by listening to my chemical romance -- (a great band) -- I feel like I should be locked up some where and not let out until I’m at least 135 lbs. That won’t happen until I’m 174 lbs. tear :(


Name: Andrea Faith Lewis
Age: 17
City: Rock Hill
State: South Carolina
Country: United States

Look this is for all those people out there who think you are to fat or to ugly. For starters, you are not (unless you have a bad attitude). I may not know you, but I do know that there is someone out there that loves you for you and that is the only person who you need to worry about. It might not even be your mom-mine isn't. My mom makes me wear make-up and she tells me that I'm to fat to do the things I do! See that is what makes me strive to do things that a "fat" person normally couldn't do!!!! Well, be strong! And I love you!


Author: Sarah
Age: 14
City: Saint John N.B
State: N.B.
Country: United States

Hey, I deep down knew I was never really fat, but I always wanted to be like the other girls. U know what I mean? I started to feel fat when I was 12 and last year when I was in 8th grade I lost 33 pounds, weighing only about 76. But I now weight 120 and I'm not happy. I just want to be skinny. I don't think I could ever starve myself. But when I look at fat girls I just want to throw my food away how selfish is that? I really hate that I'm fat and I even hate myself for letting me get fat. I always feel my jeans are much to tight… and the truth is they are I FEEL LIKE A FAT PIG and it's terrible. I just want to be a normal teenager like my friends, like every other skinny girl. It’s really hard on my self-esteem.


Author: Emily
Age: 10
City: Wildwood
State/Prov: NJ
Country: United States

Hey guys, serious problem!!! My sis, Meghan (12), is having major self-esteem problems, that have turned into violent ways of treating (more like punishing herself). She starves herself. She really is only like 2 ponds over weight! Trust me, I know!

Me, I am almost obese... but back to Meg, she exercises herself, until she like almost faints, she stresses over, and gets extremely upset over, getting an A or A- on tests. She's brilliant and always gets strait A’s. But she has anxiety attacks and panic attacks, at least once/twice a week.

Nobody else is as worried as I am that she cut herself, I know she would never commit like suicide, or anything like that, but sometimes I think that she thinks about it at least once in a while.

She's really popular and has tons of friends and a boyfriend too (can you believe it?). But I am crying right know, because I am so scared for her... Oh please, can somebody help me!


Author: Percy
Age: 17
City: Porterville
State/Prov: California
Country: United States

I’m 17 and weigh 224 pounds. I just joined the gym two weeks ago. This week I got a horrible cold, so my Mom took me to the doctor. Feeling terrible (and waiting an hour and half in the office) I was already on edge. My doctor came in and said, you are fat, you need to lose weight! I began to cry, more out of frustration then anything else. He told me I need to take control, it’s my life… and all that jazz. I stopped crying, and then he said he wants me to have high self esteem. After I left I started to think about it. As an overweight teen, I’m confident. I think I have a lot going for me. And one thing like my weight is not going to hold me down. Sure I want to be thinner, but I’m fine. I hope everyone reads this BEFORE they start going to the gym. Be happy with what you have before going to the gym. Know you are special just the way you are. I just want to lose weight in order to be able to wear cuter clothes. BE HAPPY as you are, everything else will fall in line. People will see how confident and nice you are regardless of your weight.


Author: Krystal
Age: 16
City: Anderson
State/Prov: Texas
Country: United States

I use to have a very high self-esteem when I was a cheerleader in Junior high. I moved to a different state my freshman year where I got really stressed out about family problems and I all did was eat. Now I feel fat and have no pride in myself and I don't know what to do anymore. I am visiting my grandparents and this weekend is there homecoming I got invited but I really don't want to put on a dress I just feel really fat.

Building Self Esteem